she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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