i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
