so that wasnt chicken after all
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
