Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
