nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
