You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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