Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Watching her eat just hurts me
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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