this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
