problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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