Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
