So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize