Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
