Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
