You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
