Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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