i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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