She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize