I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
