oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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