Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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