Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
