I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
