No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
