my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Blood and glitter go together right?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
