Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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