Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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