i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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