i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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