she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
