I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
