she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
