summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
