Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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