im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
