One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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