it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Randomize
