she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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