I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
