Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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