So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
