But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Enjoy the penises
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
