well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
