I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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