well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
