why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
