She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
