he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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