yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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