Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
