We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
