When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
