okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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