It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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