his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize