he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
