I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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