ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
