you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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