We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
