he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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