I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
