Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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