Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
