he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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