Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
