Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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