I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
