I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just cut my nipple shaving
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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