I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
