So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
