dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize