So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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