Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Green mimosas i think yes
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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