You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
