normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
