Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
