kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
