We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
