oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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