I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
