i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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