Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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