Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Is Oprah even human
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize